Killing Bad Habits

Writing Taking Stock was equal parts cathartic, embarrassing, and helpful. The saying goes that admitting that you have a problem is the first step towards fixing that problem. Fixing anything isn't easy, especially if you have never done it before. All of the self-help articles and books and inspirational sayings in the world aren't going to help you if you don't take the time to overview how you got into your mess in the first place.

Every little bad habit you've picked up over a lifetime is a part of you, and changing those means changing yourself, which sometimes literally feels like you're performing extensive surgery on yourself. You're cutting those less desirable parts away, sometimes exposing blood and guts. Well, so, you're probably wondering the ways that I performed that surgery on myself since last time. Well...

Social Media 

Not clicking on Facebook or Reddit for that daily social quota is not easy. You're lonely, tired, probably looking like a vampire from not leaving home in a few days, etc. Even though you want that precious social interaction, you are just not sure you want to go through all the obstacles to get it. Calling friends, saving space on your schedule, getting in your car, getting dressed...

You know that line of thinking isn't helpful, but it is easy to fall into no matter how disciplined you think you are. 

This means that the first thing I did was, ironically, to use Facebook to message a few friends to set up a few out-of-work. I'm not going to lie and tell you I suddenly had a million fun places to go and people to meet; we all know how hard it can be to coordinate time with friends, especially when you factor in work and/or kids. But this is like surgery, and, unfortunately, sometimes surgery hurts. Well, maybe finding time for friends isn't like surgery, more like taking medicine: it doesn't always taste great or make you feel great at first, but sometimes you need it in your life to keep things working as they should. I called a friend and we talked while watching The Rocky Horror Picture Show. 

As for Reddit, that has been a bit trickier. I'm going to be honest here: I'm an addict. I get really addicted to things really easily. I tried a few shut-off and blocker programs to keep myself away, but those just didn't do the job. I could easily find a way to turn them off, which left them quite useless. What has worked instead is allowing myself to be logged on to Reddit, but only allowing myself to check for commented messaging, not posting anything new. This approach doesn't always work, but it is a step in the right direction. Isn't the all or nothing approach of the blocker programs, but rather gives me some bit of control over how I spend my time. Eventually I run out of replied messages for the day and have nothing to do but work. 

I know that these approaches aren't for a lot of my readers. Maybe you're new to an area or maybe you recently had a falling out with your friends? Perhaps the pull of Reddit Gold is just too strong for you to resist? The point is, I took stock of my situation and because of that, found what worked my for me. It took a bit of time and experimentation, it can be improved, but it works for right now. There is no one-size-fits-all here.

There's Always Someone Better

Boy, this one was a doozy. I'm not sure I will ever be over it or be able to find some simple way around it. The fact that it feels like there is always someone better, more deserving, for a job nags away.  I could tell you to suck it up and put on a brave face, but that simply isn't how it works. It sticks in your head and repeats over and over and over-

Better stop that. 

So, what do you do? Of course, there's just not getting on social media. You can delete your accounts and give it all up...if you can figure out how to delete your Facebook account, you go ahead with that! But for a less extreme version of that, there's just avoiding those posts that make you feel bad and on focusing on those that make you happy. Follow some good comedy pages, fill your feed with kittens or funny vines or whatever tickles your fancy. But doesn't this just lead to you spending all of your time focusing on kittens or vines or something? Well, now that you mention it...

Laziness

Hello darkness my old friend. 

Laziness is very seductive, it's addictive and is ultimately what drives many of our achievements. But it's a trade off, and if you are too lazy now, then you won't be able to afford to be lazy later. So what did I do about my own overflow of laziness? Oddly, this one was the easiest. Of course, I'm still trying to do better, but, again, baby steps!

So, first thing I did was actually look up what other people did for their laziness. This is somewhat like the approach I with self-help books I advocated in my piece about self-help books: gaining perspective. Because I do not have the time to read actual self-help books, I found the beginning and solution to all of life's problems: The Internet! And what holy grail of information did I find once there? A beautiful thing called The Ivy Lee Method. What makes this method work for me is its simplicity. There's no complicated app to download and keep up with, no extravagant notebook or planner needed, just a piece of paper and pen to keep track of your daily progress. 

The Ivy Lee Method involves writing down six tasks that you need to complete that day. However, if you do not complete those six tasks, then the only consequence is flowing the tasks you did not get done over onto the next day and adding the appropriate number of tasks to those to make six. It is simple, it doesn't involve buying an app and a special calendar, and it allows for you to not get all of your work done in one day. It's flexible and simple, which is perfect given my current schedule. 

Like the other methods I've discussed in this post, this isn't meant to work for everyone. Some of you would probably prefer a more strict method, or something more detailed. That is totally okay. The important thing is to take stock, find out what isn't working for you, and then find ways to change that. And maybe those ways won't work for you forever. Life changes, your goals change, and how you need to achieve them changes. 

We're going to be fine. We're going to go places and be OK.